Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Honestly, I feel...

Anxious. Very Anxious. Almost incapacitated. I'm sitting here waiting for the Rescue Remedy to kick in. In a few short weeks this will all be over. ...and then who will I be? What will it be like to be me without the huge knot of worry about immigration hanging over my head? What will it be like to be our family? What kind of new dance are we going to have to learn once our stomachs are no longer tied in knots?

Vespera has been suffering migraines...not helped, I'm sure, by her new braces. I've had a fever for 4 straight days. Mango has lost his voice. Mane can't sleep at night.

This is where a life of total faith begins.

Again.

I thought I knew what faith was before. But it appears that...

"Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see." Hebrews 11:1

And I don't really think that verse has anything to do with desired outcomes or being sure of the things we really want. It's being sure of the final outcome. In the end justice, mingled with grace and mercy will surely triumph.

But I still really want MY desired outcome. I want what I am hoping for. Desperately.

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