Teshuvah

Rosh Hashanah. A new year. Also sometimes called the Feast of Trumpets or Yom Teruah. A time to make a joyful noise. This is the time when the Rabbis believe that the world was created. It is a celebration of God as King and Creator. We are reminded that God brought the world into being and continues to uphold the world, a continual outpouring of life and creativity.

These days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are days of Teshuvah, repentance. A time to reflect on our mistakes and make the conscious choice to turn toward the only one who can offer unconditional grace and forgiveness, toward the King and Creator, toward the only one who can heal our brokenness.


These words from John Parsons at Hebrew4Christians spoke to me today,

"God is both infinitely loving and infinitely just, and both of these "attributes" are inseparably a part of who he is. God is One. Nonetheless, the cross of Yeshua proves that "love is stronger than death, passion fiercer than the grave; its flashes are flashes of fire, a raging flame, the very flame of the Lord" (Song. 8:6). It is at the cross that "love and truth have met, righteousness and peace have kissed" (Psalm 85:10). This implies that we must drop our defenses – even those supposed objections and pretenses voiced by our shame – and "accept that we are accepted." It is God's great love for you that leads you to repent and to turn to him. Allow yourself to be embraced by his "everlasting arms."

It truly is a time of celebration. We, so often, wallow in our mistakes, grovel in our repentance. We view repentance as a time to hate ourselves. I think of self-flagellation and penance...something church history has taught us. This isn't it at all, though. Repentance is confession and turning away. It is starting fresh. It is acknowledging that we are loved enough to be forgiven.

I read in the book To Forgive is Human that people don't admit mistakes or ask forgiveness unless there is some possibility that they will be forgiven. This is the basis upon which relationships are built. You cannot be honest and truthful in your relationship, admitting mistakes & moving on to be a better person unless you can reasonably expect some grace.

The King and Creator offers us this kind of acceptance, love and grace. Repentance is impossible without this grand acceptance.  And self-hatred isn't necessary. In fact, it's contradictory. Possibly, it's even a defense mechanism. If we hate ourselves, we don't actually have to believe that we can change, be different, be loved, be forgiven. If we drop the defense of self-hatred, we can repent, turn, start fresh, walk new...right into a sweet new year. This is joyous, indeed!

Shanah Tovah!

Rosh Hashanah & Yom Kippur

I am stunned by the stories of redemption I have stumbled upon in the last few weeks, as Mane and I have been reading about Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur...the Jewish New Year and the Day of Cleansing. Perhaps these glimmers of redemption are always around me, but I don't notice them unless it's on my mind. I wonder how much I miss by just not paying attention and being present...how many droplets of redemption glimmer while I'm to busy trying to be perfect. Ironic, isn't it?

Mane and I embarked on a study of Jewish or Biblical Holidays as part of our homeschooling curriculum this year. My interest has been piqued by some mothers on the message board where I find some on-line support, advice & encouragement. I picked up a booked called The Family Treasury of Jewish Holidays from a thrift store, and then I was ready to embark on a journey to learn about the Biblical Holidays, the holidays that God designed to fill our lives with celebration, contemplation, joy, and introspection. These are the holidays that God created to mark our calendars and walk us through the year. It seems important, as Christian people, to at least know what they're about.

In our readings about Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we have encountered the Jewish idea of sin, which is simply, "missing the mark," and the idea that the New Year is a time to reflect on the things we've done right and wrong in the last year, the things we'd like to change, the things we need forgiveness for and the things we need to forgive. There is not a feeling of guilt or shame associated with this time, but a feeling of how valuable our mistakes are because they spur growth and help us seek and encounter God in our lives.

I cannot begin to tell you how fresh and beautiful this message feels. Jewish tradition is that the pieces of the stone tablets that were broken when Moses threw them down in anger were to be kept in the Ark of the Covenant because the mistake was holy, too. Can you believe it? Holy mistakes?! Mane struggles, as I do, with admitting and moving past mistakes. It's hard to be a perfectionist. Hard to be the child of a perfectionist. Hard to be the grandchild and great-grandchild of a perfectionist. It is both humbling and agonizing to see my own tendencies repeated in my child, and I am praying for freedom for both of us as we learn to re-frame mistakes as holy, as moments to learn and to encounter God.

Two friends of mine wrote beautiful blog posts this week about the redemption of their mistakes, even unintentional ones. Something Good From Something Bad is a story by a journalist-turned-full-time-mom friend of mine. Rewriting My Name is by the ever-popular Heather of the EO. ;) They have said it so well. I hardly need to restate what has already been said.