Wednesday, December 23, 2009

How many times have I traveled this road?

How many times have I traveled this road?

To church, to school, to work, to my friend's house...home. I know I've traveled it to weddings and birthdays and funerals and baby showers. Alone. With friends.

In the rain.

Crying or laughing or praying or all three.

And like tonight, in the snow, in the wind, with my headlights turning the world into a snow globe. In the snow and the wind while my future husband drove, with my head in his lap. I know I was dreaming and sleeping and my thoughts were of the future and our life together.

Yet never, ever once did I dream of this day. It isn't something I could ever have those days when I drove this road every day.

I didn't dream about you in the back seat with your bridesmaids, making a wedding, planning a future, growing our family by yet one more person.

This life is so vast, so outside the trying to get your mind to go outside your mind.

Though I didn't dream it or plan it or imagine it, you are here, and this reality is so much better than anything I would or could have imagined. It is bigger, more alive, more daring, and so much deeper and more beautiful. A life of heightened contrast.

How many times have I traveled this road?

Many. More than I can count.

And none. None at all.

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