Monday, October 08, 2007

Dreams

I've had a very active dream life lately and wanted to get a few of my recent dreams all written down.

A few nights ago I had a strange dream. Strange because it didn't involve me or anyone I knew. It was more like watching a movie of some people I didn't know. The dream involved a guy, Peter, and a few of his friends, who all played guitar together. They were out late at a coffee shop, sitting at tables on the sidewalk, after jamming together someplace. They were college age and pretty intense friends. So, Peter ended up telling the group about having been molested as a child while they were all sitting at this cafe together. He clearly wanted to sink under the table and out of sight after he said it all, especially considering that one of his friends was this woman he was totally in love with (though she didn't know it). She didn't say a lot, except that she respected him and was so sad that this happened to him. In her mind, he wasn't really any different than the Peter she had always known. She just had some more information about him, and it made some things click into place. But it didn't change how she felt about him. She loved him also, but she hadn't told him yet.

In my dream, Peter goes to Alaska & gets a job flying airplanes. He's terribly homesick & misses this woman from college a lot. But he feels defective, like he can't expect her to love him, and going to Alaska was a bit like running away. He calls her, though, because they're good friends and they want to keep in touch. Finally he tells her that he hates Alaska, that he wants to come home. She tells him that he should come home then. He says that he doesn't want to come home unless she will be there waiting for him. He doesn't say that he loves her exactly, and he hesitates to go on in their conversation because he knows he probably just said too much, and he thinks she probably thinks of him as this messed up, defective person, and he's asking way too much of her. There's this long silence when neither of them says anything, and then she says that she loves him and she will be there waiting when he comes home.

How's that for a wild dream. Mango says I should get somebody to write the screenplay. I have some thoughts about what it all means, but I'm not going to post it all here. Mostly, I'm just surprised that it came up now, seemingly out of the blue, unrelated to anything I've been reading or thinking about lately.

So, last night I had a dream that some girlfriends & I went camping. The guys in the campsite next to us wouldn't leave us alone, kept talking to us, trying to touch us, etc... One of my friends was drunk, and so was totally useless in trying to fend them off. The other friend said I should call Mango. I put it off, but then these two guys tried to sleep in our tent with us. They wouldn't leave. So, I called Mango, but I was really worried about him because there were two guys & he's only one guy. Mango came right away & jumped on both the guys, knocked them out, and then we all helped get them out of the tent.

That's all. It's a dream about trust...about believing that Mango will always be there when I NEED him, even though life is busy and he can't always be there when I simply WANT him. For those of you who have ever had partners in graduate school or who are teachers with 3 preps, you know what I mean. Add two children to the mix, and you've got a very busy life.

I had another dream a few nights ago, but I can't remember it for some reason now. *sigh* Maybe later.

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