Passover Stories & Rituals

This year we plan to read some of our favorite Passover picture books over the week of Passover. I want to develop some Passover traditions that keep us focused over the week of Passover, not just the night of the Seder. And since Easter coincides with Passover this year, we'll read some Easter stories, as well. Here's the current line-up:

We decorated with "Easter Eggs" this year, after much thought, because there is, indeed, an egg on the Seder plate, and eggs have so often been used to represent new life and springtime. As a celebration of spring, of new life for the Jewish people upon their delivery from Egypt, and of new life in the Messiah, we are choosing to decorate with beautiful eggs.

Tomorrow I plan to practice baking "boiled" eggs to see how/if it works. I've love to have some roasted eggs to bring to our Passover plates. For more info on baking eggs, see here: Mr. Breakfast on Roasted Eggs. And another set of instructions in case you need some reassurance: Roasted Eggs.

Chanukah - Picture book line-up

We STILL love our Christmas/Chanukah picture books! I sometimes think picture books are written as much for adults as they are for kids. We find that we enjoy them just as much, and Mane still loves them after all these years. This is the line-up for seven of the eight nights of Chanukah reading:

The Story of Hanukkah by Bobbi Katz & Illustrated by Linda Dockey Graves
In the Month of Kislev by Nina Jaffe & Illustrated by Louise August
Nine Spoons by Marci Stillerman & Illustrated Pesach Gerber
The Hanukkah Mice by Ronne Randall & Illustrated by Maggie Kneen
Elijah's Angel by Michael Rosen & Illustrated by Aminah Brenda Lynn Robinson
Christmas Tapestry by Patricia Polacco
The Tree of the Dancing Goats by Patricia Polacco

Miriam, Ruth, Esther...

In this past week of Advent, we've read the stories of both Miriam and Ruth. ...and coming up this week, we have the story of Esther. I am surprised by the number of Jesse Tree outlines that do not include the stories of these women. Ruth and Esther have entire books of the Bible that bear their names, yet they tend to be neglected in the telling of the redemption story. (Though, since we celebrate the Biblical holidays, Esther gets an entire holiday, and we read the story of Miriam at Passover. Sooooo...)  Here are the books we like to read about these women for our Advent Jesse Tree.

Miriam's Cup by Fran Manushkin:

It's important to note that there's no sugar coating on this story. We read about the Pharoah having all the Hebrew boy babies killed. So, if your children are small or sensitive, it might be best to wait on this version of the story.

Ruth and Naomi by Jean Marzollo:

Quite to opposite of the Miriam book, this one is written for the very young. In fact, this year, we opted to also read the book of Ruth from the Bible (only 4 chapters) to fill out the story for us.

Queen Esther The Morning Star by Mordecai Gerstein:

Again, this one is not a sugar-coated story. Pre-reading may help you filter out whatever you want to skip for the very young children.

Noah's Ark

It's the 3rd day of Advent and time to remember the story of Noah. Our favorite picture book that tells this story is Noah's Ark by Jerry Pinkney. The illustrations in the book remain some of our very favorite. Mane was delighted to learn that the book was published the year she was born and that the author/illustrator lives in New York!

Advent/Jesse Tree 2014 - the short(er) version

A few years back, I wrote and wrote and wrote...and wrote...about our Advent/Jesse tree traditions and posted a week by week plan of possibilities for celebrating Advent. This year I want to gather it all up into something more concise. Sooooo...this post is going to contain the master lists and basic information.

 Advent always begins four Sundays before Christmas. If Christmas is on a Sunday, this would be the 5th Sunday. Advent means "coming," and during the season of Advent we remember the coming of Yeshua, the Messiah. Our family uses a Jesse Tree to remember and tell the story from Creation to the birth of Yeshua. For each day of Advent we remember one person or story from the Biblical genealogy, and we hang a symbol of that person or story on our Jesse Tree. We also use an Advent wreath with four candles in a circle and a 5th candle in the middle to mark time as we pass through the Advent season. Each Sunday we light a new candle. On Christmas we light the 5th candle. Here is the meaning for each candle:

First Week - Hope
Second Week - Peace
Third Week - Joy
Fourth Week - Love
Christmas Candle - Yeshua

It is traditional for the Hope, Peace, and Love candles to be purple, for the Joy candle to be pink, and for the Christmas Candle to be white. In our home, we don't always use the traditional colors, but we do distinguish the Joy candle from the rest. We have used the same white Christmas Candle for many, many years since it only burns for a short time on Christmas morning.

And here is our list of stories for our Jesse Tree and the symbol we use for each story. The longest possible length for Advent is 29 days. So, we have 29 possible stories/people/ideas to cover during Advent. Many years, Advent is shorter. On shorter years we combine stories. If you look through the list, you'll see that many of the final symbols are part of the relatively short story of the birth of Jesus (Mary, Joseph, Travel to Bethlehem, Angels, Shepherds, & Wise Men) and can easily be combined into one day or spread out over several.

1. What is a Jesse Tree? (Isaiah 11:1) -  Tree
2. Creation - World
3. The Fall - Apple
4. Noah - Ark
5. Abraham - Camel
6. Isaac - Ram
7. Jacob - Ladder
8. Joseph - Coat 
9. Miriam/Exodus story - Music Notes
10. Moses/Mount Sinai - Stone Tablets
11. Joshua - Trumpet
12. Ruth - Sheaves of Grain
13. Samuel - Lamp
14. David - Harp
15. Solomon - Crown
16. Elijah - Raven
17. Elisha - Dove
18. Isaiah - Scroll
19. Jeremiah - Teardrop 
20. Esther - Scepter
21. Nehemiah - Cup
22. Zachariah & Elizabeth - Pencil and/or Mother & Child
23. Mary - Lily
24. Joseph - Hammer
25. John the Baptist - Seashell
26. Travel to Bethlehem - Donkey
27. Birth a Jesus - Baby in a Manger
28. Angels & Shepherds - Angel & Staff
29. Wise Men - Star

Stories/People we have included from time to time, but aren't on our official list for this year:

• Gideon - Clay Water Pitcher
• Deborah - Palm Tree
• Jonah - Whale
• Daniel - Lion
• Micah - City of Bethlehem
• Hezekiah - Empty Tent
• Habakkuk - Stone Watch Tower
• Nehemiah - City Wall

When Mane was little, we covered most of the Jesse Tree stories by simply reading them out of a Children's Bible. It doesn't have to be any more complicated than that. Over the years, we've collected some lovely picture books that tell some of the individual stories, and we read these instead. (Many of these can be found by clicking the appropriate label in the sidebar.)

Happy Advent!

Counting Gifts again...for Thanksgiving

Last year we started the tradition of writing gifts/gratitudes on decorated squares of paper throughout the month of November and dropping them in a jar. At the end of the season, we hole-punched the papers and put them on a ring. We hung it from a hook on our mantle all year. We've got the jar back out this month again, and we're counting our gifts again.

Pastor Healy preached a sermon recently about keeping our oil lamps full...about paying attention to what fills the lamp so that, at a moment's notice, we are ready. We are never left dry and empty. We don't leave the house without it. We don't put it off until later. I was reminded of all the time I spent counting One Thousand Gifts over the past years. And this, I think, is how we receive oil for our lamps: through gratitude, which, in turn, brings joy. It fills our hearts. Our cups overflow with "the oil of joy."

Restoring the Vitamix 3600 - Plug the spigot, replace the seal...

I bought a VITA-MIX 3600 from someone on Craig's list yesterday, and I am so very excited! We LOVE the stainless steel container and the old-fashioned-looking base.

Before we could use it, though, it needed a little maintenance. Since Vitamix no longer carries replacement parts for the 3600, it also required a little innovation.

We took apart the blade assembly in order to clean and oil the parts and make the blade spin smoothly...

(We also accidentally took apart the motor and put it back together...but we're not going to talk about that here...or anywhere...probably ever.)

The stainless steel canisters have a spigot in the side, like this:

But I am not a fan of the spigot. It seems like a really great place to trap food and grow bacteria. Yuck. So, we took off the spigot, and I went to my local hardware store this morning and asked how I might close the hole.  They sold me this solution:

That's two washers (1.25") and two neoprene gaskets held together with a a washer and a lock nut.

Finally, the rubber seal around the dome was aged, cracking, and...well...gross. I saw that I could buy replacements on ebay (since, again, Vitamix no longer supports this product), but I was in a bit of a hurry to get to use my new blender. So, I went to the grocery store, found a lock & seal type container, took out the seal, and found that it fit in my blender dome! Yay!

Old seal to the left, Hefty Clip Fresh container seal on the right.

Ta-Da! Dome with new, clean seal!

And we made our first smoothie! This blender is so quiet compared to our previous blender, and it did a great job!!

Later we made squash & sausage soup from the squash Vespera brought us. LOVE autumn soups!

Cultural Identity

What do you consider your cultural or ethnic identity? What traits or practices do you associate with that identity? Are there things you would like to do to enhance that part of who you are?

I chose this blog prompt because it's hard for me. And because it's something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Do all parents begin to feel that their time is so limited with their children and there are still so many things they want their children to know and learn? Mane is in 7th grade. She's 12. And already I am beginning to feel that my time with her is stretching thin. I have only so many years left. There's so much I want to squeeze into our lives, into her learning. I remember that when we got married, Mango's mother warned me that she wasn't finished with him yet. She wasn't prepared for him to marry so young, and she was still parenting.

One of the things I want Mane to have is a sense of cultural identity, as sense of where she comes from and who she is. I think this is an essential human need - to know our place in the world. I find that many families I know struggle with a lack of cultural identity, in particular those families who have no recent immigrants. We look at the more recent immigrants around us and long for what they have - foods, traditions, clothing, holidays that define who they are as a people. Perhaps, though, our ideas of cultural and ethnic identity simply need some expanding.

Ethnically, I am primarily German and Swedish (with a little Irish, Dutch, Swiss, and Prussian for good measure). Very little of those ethnic cultures have come to me through my family, other than a stubborn German/Irish temperament, and, perhaps, a Swedish love of the dark nights of winter, wool sweaters and candles. I love the Swedish Christmas goats and Dala horses, chocolate from Switzerland, and the music of the Irish.

As a cross-cultural family, we're also part Mexican. Ha! And from this adoption of Mexican heritage, we've developed traditions of authentic Mexican food - Tres Leche cakes for birthdays, mole, caldo, enchiladas... Strangely, we've done very little with the holidays...except read about them. Food was such a daily comfort and such a foundational piece a bringing Vespera into our family that we integrated that first and best.

In terms of holiday celebrations, we actually look a whole lot more Jewish than anything else. Or, perhaps, we've adopted church tradition and Jewish tradition as a way to feed the need for cultural identity. Religious practice can be a huge part of cultural identity for people. At our house, Advent has become the anchoring season...because we light candles nearly every night, read stories, and pray. We have a Jesse tree, an Advent wreath, a stack of picture books, and...often...somewhere in the middle of it all...a chanukiah. We trace the seasons of the year from Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot and Chanukah, through Passover/Easter, Shavuot/Pentacost, and, of course, a weekly Shabbat.

On a different level, our "family culture" also includes homeschool, whole and organic foods, and natural living choices. It's not the culture of my childhood, but a culture that has developed over the last 16 years, as Mango and I have developed our own "culture," as our separate cultures have blended into each other.

I would love to nurture more of an ethnic and cultural identity for us, and I think I know how to do it. It's about picking up the little traditions and just doing them. Three Kings Days and Cinco De Mayo...Santa Lucia and Saint Mary's Day. It's about reading the stories and visiting the food markets and cooking the food. I have learned that it isn't really about big things but about simple moments.

I want to visit the Swedish Institute more and Mercado Central. I want to find a Dala Horse that I love for mantle. I want to learn a little German, take Mane to German restaurants, and read about German immigrants. I want to attend the Cinco De Mayo parade and make a Three Kings cake. This is who we are. Our stories shape us, whether we know it or not.

A Few Things My Mother Taught Me

I've been thinking about this post for a long while. The things my mother taught me are both so simple and so formative. Most important things in life are. It isn't the big, huge once-in-a-lifetime things that make up the stuff of life, but the small every day things.

It's so cliche to say that she taught me to work hard. But she really, really did...from weeding the garden to shoveling snow, my mama did it all. She wasn't afraid to dive into a room that needed to be cleaned at school or a pile of paperwork in the office, either. She taught me to do what needs to be done, no complaining. I'm afraid I've moved away from that lesson as I've gotten older...being now somewhat more inclined to procrastination and whining.

My mother also taught me storage solutions for small houses and how to minimize clutter without throwing all the fun stuff away. She new how to keep games and craft projects and her favorite coffee mug without all the little stuff cluttering up the house. Maybe this is more about knowing what really matters and getting rid of the stuff that doesn't. But, you know, you can keep the favorite mug that you really don't need, if you keep it in the cake pan in the oven (where else would you store your cake pans? and your mugs?). 

My mother taught me to keep my mouth shut when the conflict isn't really going to be beneficial. I don't think this is about avoiding conflict or sweeping things under the rug. She could confront when something needed to be said. But, it was more about extending some grace or having some patience to see how some things might pan out. It was about holding back the biting comment when someone was all sarcastic and crabby...to give them the opportunity to settle down themselves. Because, you know, most of us know when we're acting bad anyway. We seldom need someone to point it out to us.

My mama taught me to hunt for bargains, to substitute ingredients in recipes, to make do with what I have...to turn old things into new solutions. She taught me how to play rummy and make salsa and cook beans from scratch.

Sometimes I'm surprised by all the ways that I am like her because I've often thought myself so different from her in personality. When I surprise myself with a piece of her appearing in my own living, I am so proud. 

Ideal Weekend Away

I'm not sure I can even write this post without crying. I want this weekend away SO BADLY...and I'm not too hard to please. It's just that timing is hard to work out...

I'm also betting that those of you who know me can guess what I'm about to write...

Go ahead. Guess.



My very most ideal weekend is camping near Lake Superior. No rain...or possibly only rain at night. Because who doesn't love the patter of rain on the tent at night? Sooooo, maybe one beautiful night when we can leave the rain fly off and look at the stars. And another night with the lullaby of rain.

We'd make pie iron biscuits for breakfast to go with our iced coffee in mason jars.

There would be no mosquitoes.

We'd take long walks in beautiful places. And maybe we'd bring our bikes along and go biking, too.

We'd sit on a pebble beach listening to the waves crash on a windy afternoon (that's the night the rain will come). We'd face the wind with our arms outstretched and let our souls fly free for a while.

We'd read stories and play games and make smores around the campfire at night.

There would be drawing and guitar playing and crocheting.

We'd watch for birds and identify trees and clouds.

We'd talk about life and God and people. And listen to good music in the car. ...and stop at a cute small town coffee shop on the way home, just to make the trip last a little longer.

Their Names Matter

From A Wind in the Door by Madeleine L'Engle:

“Progo,' Meg asked. 'You memorized the names of all the stars - how many are there?'

How many? Great heavens, earthling. I haven't the faintest idea.'

But you said your last assignment was to memorize the names of all of them.'

I did. All the stars in all the galaxies. And that's a great many.'

But how many?'

What difference does it make? I know their names. I don't know how many there are. It's their names that matter.”

A litany of names.

Micheal Brown in Ferguson, Missouri.

The four I will think of during the Stomp Out Suicide Walk on Saturday:
Les.
Peter.
Calen.

Robin Williams.

Those that we have lost to cancer...
My mom
Buzz

Those who are fighting cancer...
Sandy
Sandra's friend
Kathy's brother in law

And those lost to accidents...
Gabe
Uncle Sunny

Racism.
Suicide.
Cancer.
Accidents.

This is not an exhaustive list...just the names that have been close to me this week.

I read today that one thing we can do to fight racism in response to events like the shooting of Michael Brown is to stop telling the "Good Kid Narrative" about how his death is sad because he was such a good kid who was about to start college, who was well-loved and liked by his community. Those things are true. But, "The Good Kid narrative says that this kid didn’t deserve to die because his goodness was the exception to the rule. This is wrong. This kid didn’t deserve to die because he was a human being and black lives matter." (12 Things White People Can Do Now Because Ferguson)

...And I thought of the words of Progo. "What difference does it make? I know their names. I don't know how many there are. It's their names that matter."

On Saturday when I walk the SOS walk, I'm sure I'll be overwhelmed by the numbers. By the sheer volume of people who have experiences the tragedy of suicide and/or depression. We human beings are impressed by numbers.

But you know what? The numbers are not the part that matters. It's the names that each of those numbers represent. Whether there are four or one hundred or one thousand. It's all the same. "What difference does it make? ...It's their names that matter."

Savoring

"Savoring is the capacity to notice and appreciate the little joys, the small pleasures, and the enjoyable moments in our everyday lives.

Walk around your home and savor what you love. It could be a painting someone gave you, a lamp you found at a flea market, or the smell of something cooking in your oven. Then write about it..."

I'm hanging out in my kitchen today making pumpkin pie for a benefit bake sale. I love the smell of pumpkin pie, and this is one of the few gluten free desserts I've perfected. AND, I can do it sugar free, which means that both Mane and Mango are happy!

Pumpkin pies make me think of autumn, too, and autumn has always been my favorite season - full of the color of changing leaves, visiting the apple orchard, hot cider, ginger snaps, pulling out the sweaters and wool socks. There's definitely something about it that reminds me that I'm German - loving the Scandinavian sweaters and quiet, dark evenings with candles.

And then, right here in my kitchen, there's the ceramic sun flower face that Vespera brought me from Mexico. It just makes me smile with all it's cheery smile-y-ness and long eyelashes. I love it that Vespera was thoughtful enough to bring us all gifts from her home country and that she thought of just what might fit where in our house. She knew this little smiling face would fit right where it hangs in the kitchen.

I love, love, LOVE this little country church painting that also hangs on our kitchen wall, under the lights that Mane picked out for our kitchen (with the help of Grandpa-Upstairs):

Mango always tells me of how this reminds him of a church he visited in Russia and what a powerful emotional and spiritual experience that was for him. To share in a spiritual experience with people you cannot even speak with because you do not share a common language is an amazing thing. To recognize in them something that you have in yourself is an experience that changes a person. 

I love my yellow kitchen walls, though I would never in a million years have painted a kitchen (or any room) yellow. It's so warm and cozy. When I'm in here in the morning with my cup of coffee and some candles, my wool socks and the radio, I'm so settled and happy. 

Who was kind to you this week?

I've had so many kindnesses bestowed upon me. So many. It's hard to choose.

My good friend kindly went with the spontaneous suggestion to go see the dandelion fountain...and then delivered my child back home for me so that I could get to work!

Mango cooked and cleaned while I was sick. And watched a marathon of Harry Potter movies with Mane & I over the weekend while we were recovering.

Vespera came to visit. And talked about theology with me!

A coworker put up photos of all our families at the front desk to help us all make it through the crazy, busy weeks of summer.

Another coworker offered to pick up lunch for me while she was out.

So many clients expressed gratitude this week!

The clerk at the store actually had a conversation with me, rather than just a "Hello, How are you? Did you find everything you were looking for? Do you want to sign up for a credit card? Have a nice day!"

********************

This blog prompt brings me back to 1000 Gifts. I think of how much joy small gifts of kindness can be, and how much kindness is like an offering of grace. Kindness is a gift in a world where we are often too busy to take time. Kindness slows the world down a little bit.

I wish I could [fill in the blank with at least 5 things]...

I wish I could...

Camp ALL summer! Yep, I sure do. Mostly I think I just want to live in the moment, and I do that more when I'm camping than any other time. The distractions are fewer. The day to day little bits of work that you have to do for cooking and cleaning and taking care of everyone is earthy and grounded.

Read Everything! Every time I go to the library or walk through a book store, I am struck with the impulse to read and learn everything. The library, especially, is like a giant candy store, and I can never get over the fact that I can actually take things home with me. All too often I check out way more than I can actually read.

Make another denim quilt. I say "wish" because I don't think I ever will. I don't actually believe I'll have the patience ever again. But, I sure do love the one I made. And one of the first projects Vespera ever helped me with was tying the corners.

Build Furniture... Again, this is a wish because I just don't know that I'll ever get around to actually doing it. I want more bookcases and little tables and custom pieces that fit in all the right nooks and crannies...

Lead retreats. Yep, I think I'll actually end up doing this one someday. I used to be drawn to the idea of leading marriage retreats. ...Then retreat-style childbirth classes. ...Occasionally I've thought about creative retreats, ladies weekend retreats, grief retreats, and spiritual retreats. I think people need retreats for differing reasons at various times in their lives, especially transitional times, and I'd like to be part of making that happen someday.

Rules of Friendship

This week's blog post prompt: Rules of Friendship...

I am sooooo not a rule follwer...or, um...no, I am not panicking that is is Thursday and I have not completed the blog post yet. Right. Not a rule follower.

But, in all honesty, I think it's in the nature of rules that there will always be exceptions. Humans are human. We don't always fit into nice neat little boxes with a right and a wrong way to do things. That said, I think the questions behind the question is not so much, "What are the rules of friendship," but "What is friendship? What makes a friend a friend?" or maybe, "How does/should a friend behave?"

I'm arguing semantics now in avoidance of the actual blog post...

Hmmm...so, ok...

-> You don't clean your house before a friend comes over. I mean, a real actual true friend...not an acquaintance or a coworker, but an actual friend. A kindred spirit. A real friend doesn't care what your house looks like, and you're supposed to be able to just be yourself around them. No masks. No pretending.

-> Friends have integrity. I always say I married Mango for his integrity. He is who he says he is. He does what he says he's going to do. He is honest about who he is and what he thinks. I think that true friends need this kind of honesty and reliability.

-> Friends make sacrifices for each other...they sacrifice time, energy, and resources without keeping accounts.  I don't mean that anyone should give and give and give and never get anything in return.  I mean more that good friends know that the giving goes both ways. So, they don't keep score. They know that when the time comes, the shoe will be on the other foot.
  
In the words of Solomon, "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken." (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

-> I think that true, honest, good friends assume the best about each other. They offer each other grace, rather than immediately assuming negative intent or taking offense. In the words of Anne of Green Gables, "If we have friends we should look only for the best in them, and give them the best that is in us, don't you think?"

“If we have friends we should look only for the best in them and give them the best that is in us, don’t you think?” - See more at: http://modernmrsdarcy.com/2011/04/dont-be-a-drama-queen-and-other-lessons-in-friendship-from-anne-shirley/#sthash.AdeJ8L7M.dpuf

-> Good friends can look to each other for honest opinions and sound advice, knowing that these things spring from a place of love and respect. "The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense." (Proverbs 27:9)

-> Friends accept each other's quirks and even learn to love them.

I could have written this post about different types of friendship - coworkers, acquaintances, neighbors, etc... but I decided to write about what I think the deeper kind of friend looks like - the "kindred spirit," "the bosom friend." Of course, there are all kinds of friends in the world, different types of friendships that serve different purposes. I'm speaking of the gems of friendships, the rare jewels that endure and grow more lovely with time.

What gives me peace when I'm sad/mad...

This week's question: What gives me peace when I'm sad or mad?

This is so, so hard for me. Peace. I've written a lot about peace. Perhaps, one of the reasons I'm drawn to the celebration of Advent every year is because peace is one of the four candles. Perhaps, the reason I sign many emails with "Peace!" is because I hope for it so much, and I think we all find it so elusive. Advent helps me go back to the basics.

"What is peace?" We ask each other every Advent.

Every year the answer is the same. Peace is hard to describe. It isn't really knowing that everything will be ok. Because we don't know if everything will be ok. And it isn't really quiet, though we speak of "peace and quiet." Because we can have peace while listening to some really loud music. We can have peace in the midst of lots of laughing people. We can have peace...in the middle of a storm. In the middle of the sadness. And the madness.

So what is it? From a 2006 blog post - Peace: The Second Candle of Advent:

Me: Now, what is the second candle for?
Mane [age 4]: Peace.
Me: What is peace?
Mane: Calm. I don't know.
Me: Yes, peace is calm on the inside. It is not fighting. It is feeling content inside.

So...yeah...back to the question. How do I get that in the midst of being sad or mad?

One thing that occurs to me is that peace comes with surrender. In the words of Sara Groves:

Remember surrender
Remember the rest
Remember that weight lifting off of your chest
And realizing that it's not up to you and it never was

Remember surrender
Remember relief
Remember how tears rolled down both of your cheeks
As the warmth of a heavenly father came closing in

I want to do that again
Why can't I live there
And make my home
In sweet surrender
I want to do so much more than remember

Remember surrender
Remember peace
Remember how soundly you fell fast asleep
In the face of your troubles your future still shone like the morning sun

Remember surrender
Remember that sound
Of all of those voices inside dying down
But one who speaks clearly of helping and healing you deep within

I want to do that again
Why can't I live there
And make my home
In sweet surrender
I want to do so much more than remember
Remember
Oh surrender

Surrender. Rest. Surrender. Relief. Surrender. Peace.

In letting go, I find peace. In remembering that "it's not up to you and it never was." In releasing control, there is a certain peace.

When I was in college I used to get so angry when then final answer on a topic of philosophy or theology was, "It's a mystery. This is something we can never really understand." I am on a constant quest for answers. I used to think the "mystery" answer was a cop out. But, now, (and maybe this is a sign that I've grown some since then), I find a certain comfort in that answer. When I've worn the questions ragged and beaten my fists against the patient doors of heaven, to fall to my knees and be wrapped in mystery, to sag my tired weight into the vastness of the things I don't know and just admit, "I don't know," is a relief and a comfort.

I don't know.

I feel happiest when...

I feel happiest when the whole family is playing guitars in the living room...with sheet music all over the footstools and everybody singing and strumming.

Or when I'm camping and there's a fire and pie iron biscuits and coffee in a mason jar.

Or when my house is full of people and I don't have to do anything to make them happy. They're just there and we're living life together, and I don't have to host.

...when the candles are lit for Shabbat and we put all the work away.

...when Mango & I listen to podcasts and talk while making breakfast together.

I am happiest in the middle of a great conversation.

Planning a camping trip.

Picking apples.

Lying under the ceiling fan on a warm summer night.

....

Weekly blogging!

So, a couple of friends and I decided we'll be doing some regularly weekly blogging! We plan to all blog on the same topic/prompt each week and post in our own blogs. We're taking turns deciding the writing prompt for the week. Blog post deadlines will be Thursdays!

Links to their blogs:

Driving With the Windows Wide Open
Candle Lake

This week's prompt (due tomorrow): "I feel happiest when..."

CAMPING!

I am so, so, so very grateful for the opportunity to go camping, and I LOVE to plan camping trips!

Getting ready for our first trip of the season, I'm thinking of adding a few candles to the packing. I have a few LEDs from the thrift store. If it's windy, these will work better than flame candles:

I dug out the fire starters to see what we have left & what we still need. Three left over from last year with a bunch of matches, kept safe and dry in a Folgers container:

I STILL have the yarn crafts from 2 years ago, when we had the best decorated site!

Certainly there will be a yarn bag coming with us to camp this year! As well as drawing supplies, bird books, tree books, and The Fellowship of the Ring. Last summer was the summer of Harry Potter. This will be the summer of The Lord of the Rings. I'm not sure what could be better than nature, campfires, books & yarn all together on a trip!

Making a meal plan right here:

Day 1:
Dinner - Tin foil Packs: Sausages, Broccoli, Cheese, Corn

Day 2:
Breakfast - Pie Iron Sausage Biscuits (photo from the Duluth trip last year)

Lunch - Something like this (photo from Williams Sonoma):

Or this:

Dinner - Pie Iron Sandwiches, Cabbage Salad (shredded cabbage, corn, chickpeas, lime juice, salt...maybe some sweetener like truvia, maybe some slivered almonds)

Day 3:
Breakfast - Muffin Pan Eggs from Vien's Kitchen (I would scramble, though, with poblanos, sausage, cheese, broccoli, onion flakes)

Lunch - Cold Sandwiches (so as not to start another fire), Carrots, Hummus, Cabbage Salad
Dinner - at home

Snacks:
Chips & Salsa
Nuts & Raisins

Beverages:
Coffee & Cream, Tea, Ecodrink, Almond Milk

SO EXCITED!!!

One Thousand Gifts...

Gratitude List...The Final Countdown (Count Up?) to 1000:

972. Beautiful day for a birthday party
973. Great community meeting
974. Talking with the neighbors
975. Possibilities for positive change in the neighborhood
976. Discovering a cute coffee shop
977. Listening to the local coffee shop lady be the community communication hub/therapist/social worker...
978. Seeing the gang of homeschool girls run around together outside
979. Time to work on the Bible study blog
980. Winning Peace Coffee in a raffle
981. The descriptions on Peace Coffee labels!
982. Slideshow of neighborhood photos
983. Knowing our state rep
984. Mane getting a letter (hand delivered) from our state rep in response to a letter that she wrote with her homeschool group
985. Tamales for breakfast
986. New windshield wipers
987. Having books delivered to the library where I can most easily pick them up
988. Finding birthday gifts at one of our Three Rivers Park District parks
989. Happy greetings from my coworkers when I stop in at work
990. Sara Groves music
991. Encouraging email from a Bible study group member
992. Rain in the morning
993. The birds still tweeting and the sun still out at 7pm! Summer is coming!
994. Watching a movie about the Bermuda Triangle with Mane & Mango...just because we all thought it was fun
995. Digging into Passover studies over Shabbat candles with Mane & Mango last night
996. The Passover Haggadah from Hebrew For Christians
997. Talking over the table with Vespera, Mane & Mango about all the things we're thankful for
998. That...finally...we can be thankful for time. Mango says that time is the one thing we don't have to work to keep it going. It just happen. And, for this, we are grateful.
999. I would add to Mango's gratitude for time, my own gratitude for a God that holds all of time and our lives in continued existence, in continuous creation, even.

One Thousand. It has been a few years in coming, but here I am. One Thousand Gifts. Like drops of water. Like grains of sand. Like the leaves on the trees, the rocks on the Lake Superior shore, and the wind that fills in all the empty spaces, the gifts are continuous. 

I have learned to slow down and notice. I have learned to list gratitudes when I am most anxious and afraid.

I want to learn how better to encourage a household of gratitude, an atmosphere of thanks, a legacy of thanksgiving. We are cynics in this house, prone to melancholy and criticism. Gratitude takes practice and...more practice. So, now I am mulling over projects...things I can do, things I can touch, things I can share with others. ...stay tuned...