Then...
And now...
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
R.I.P. Luna
Remember those little baby rats we brought home just under two years ago? Well, little Luna died today...
We buried her in the yard. Mane shed some tears. We were able to smile, though, about how comfortable and happy Luna's little life was and how she's not tired, sick or in pain any longer.
Rest in peace, Luna.
We buried her in the yard. Mane shed some tears. We were able to smile, though, about how comfortable and happy Luna's little life was and how she's not tired, sick or in pain any longer.
Rest in peace, Luna.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
This Conversation Keeps Coming Around....
It seems like I keep bumping into this issue from different angles everywhere...free will, God's sovereignty, the problem of evil, the goodness of God. Here's another take on it.
What does prayer do? We had this talk at my Bible study group last week, and I've been turning it over in my brain ever since. If, for example, I pray for my child to be cured from cancer, and my child is healed, well, PRAISE GOD! What an amazing answer to prayer, yes? And I will tell this story for as long as I live. What if, however, my child dies? It happens. It happens to faith-filled people who believe that God has the power to heal. What then? Is this an answer to prayer? And will I tell that story as long as I live?
Here's what happened to me. I was telling about the beautiful answer to prayer that Vespera & Mango were interviewed by a compassionate Christian woman at the Embassy when we went to Mexico for Vespera's visa approval. I told this story in response to a question about how we each personally have seen God in our own lives, how we know God is there. My beautiful Bible study ladies responded with something like, "But what if that hadn't happened?" Would I still believe God? My answer is a resounding yes, and, yet, I felt squashed.
Squashed feelings aside, I have to say that I know I'd still be believing God if Vespera had not been approved at the Embassy. I know I'd be seeing God work through other things in other ways bringing about other miracles. And, perhaps, the greatest miracles would be in me...in us...in our hearts and in who we are and who we would become.
So, um, back to the question. What does prayer do? If it's the case that one outcome or the other will happen, and it won't always be what we ask for or what we want, does God really answer prayer? Or do things simply happen the way they're going to happen and God helps us pick up the pieces when it isn't a positive outcome?
I don't have any answers. And I'm tired of this post sitting in my drafts. So, I'm just going to get it out there. I think God answers prayer. I think it doesn't always happen the way we want it to, and I think God is there anyway. That's what I know.
...and, for some reason, I feel the need to say that I started drafting this post at exactly the same time Heather was posting this. I didn't cheat & read her thoughts first, either. ;)
What does prayer do? We had this talk at my Bible study group last week, and I've been turning it over in my brain ever since. If, for example, I pray for my child to be cured from cancer, and my child is healed, well, PRAISE GOD! What an amazing answer to prayer, yes? And I will tell this story for as long as I live. What if, however, my child dies? It happens. It happens to faith-filled people who believe that God has the power to heal. What then? Is this an answer to prayer? And will I tell that story as long as I live?
Here's what happened to me. I was telling about the beautiful answer to prayer that Vespera & Mango were interviewed by a compassionate Christian woman at the Embassy when we went to Mexico for Vespera's visa approval. I told this story in response to a question about how we each personally have seen God in our own lives, how we know God is there. My beautiful Bible study ladies responded with something like, "But what if that hadn't happened?" Would I still believe God? My answer is a resounding yes, and, yet, I felt squashed.
Squashed feelings aside, I have to say that I know I'd still be believing God if Vespera had not been approved at the Embassy. I know I'd be seeing God work through other things in other ways bringing about other miracles. And, perhaps, the greatest miracles would be in me...in us...in our hearts and in who we are and who we would become.
So, um, back to the question. What does prayer do? If it's the case that one outcome or the other will happen, and it won't always be what we ask for or what we want, does God really answer prayer? Or do things simply happen the way they're going to happen and God helps us pick up the pieces when it isn't a positive outcome?
I don't have any answers. And I'm tired of this post sitting in my drafts. So, I'm just going to get it out there. I think God answers prayer. I think it doesn't always happen the way we want it to, and I think God is there anyway. That's what I know.
...and, for some reason, I feel the need to say that I started drafting this post at exactly the same time Heather was posting this. I didn't cheat & read her thoughts first, either. ;)
Monday, March 30, 2009
Earth Hour 2009
This post is cross-posted at Peregrin House, the homeschooling blog...
Saturday night we participated in Earth Hour. We turned off the lights from 8:30-9:30pm and sat around the kitchen table telling stories with grandma & grandpa, who live upstairs. Mango set a recorder on the table, and now we have some fabulous recordings of grandma and grandpa telling stories. Mane was enchanted by the candles and by the quiet, warm atmosphere. It really was beautiful and made us want to have Earth Hour every night.
However, on Sunday morning we spent some time researching the carbon emissions of candles or oil lanterns versus electric light bulbs, and we found that even a single candle may give off more carbon than a 60 watt light bulb. Mango says we need to stick with using candles only occasionally for ambiance. They're not a better environmental alternative. What *is* a better alternative is turning off lights whenever we don't need them, unplugging cell phone chargers when they're not in use, turning off the computer when we're not using it, turning off the receiver amp when we aren't listening to music, and using the city bus and our bicycles more.
Mane spent some time on the Earth Hour Kids website, and then we watched a NOVA movie on global warming and more energy efficient choices. We heard all about electric cars, solar panels, wind farms, and reforestation. The options are all so expensive right now, and, with kids, we have to focus on the things that are within our reach. So, we're helping Mane remember things like turning off lights and reminding her that if we all work together, we can make a difference, which was a key message of Earth Hour.
We also spent some time reading about how a group called Engineers Without Borders is working on helping to replace oil lanterns in developing countries with solar powered LED lanterns. It's a good example of how technology can be used to reverse some of the negative effects that earlier technology created...and how environmental concerns interplay with world economics and poverty. Because people in developing countries are less likely to have electricity, they're more likely to use kerosene lanterns, and this contributes to health problems from soot and carbon monoxide, as well as the more global problem of greenhouse gases and global warming. The article we read even pointed out how reading is difficult with less light, making it harder for children to get an education, and, if they do read by the light of the kerosene lantern, they're more likely to get sick from the lantern emissions. It's strange how something as simple as lighting can have such a huge effect.
What struck me most about Earth Hour, though, was the number of places where lights seem to serve very little purpose, yet it was such a huge deal to turn them off Saturday night. Of special note was the Coca Cola billboard in New York. Do we really need to light up billboards at night? Isn't it enough to see them in the daylight? Also, several bridges, including the Golden Gate Bridge, turned off their "decorative" lights, leaving only the necessary lights to help people drive safely. What are we doing leaving all those lights on all the time anyway? The lights were turned off on the pyramids in Egypt, the Colosseum in Rome, and the Eiffel Tower. I can understand lights for security reasons, but the sheer volume of lights is questionable. It left me wondering how much we could "save" in terms of CO2 emissions if we all gave some hard and careful thoughts to which lights are really necessary.
We seem to honor things by lighting them all day and all night (the pyramids, for example, and the statue of the Virgin Mary in Rio de Janeiro), which raises a myriad of other questions for me. Why? Why do we do that? Do we think the pyramids know they're being honored with lights all night long? Why is it so disrespectful for them to sit in darkness? Perhaps they want to rest at night, too. I don't have such a hard time thinking about turning the lights off on the pyramids, but I cringe to think about turning them off on the Vietnam Memorial Wall in Washington D.C. (I have no idea if the lights were turned off on monuments in D.C., by the way). Why is that? Why do a feel that it's disrespectful to turn out the lights on the list of names? It's not really. It doesn't dishonor the dead to let the names rest a while, especially when nobody is there and the people have left this life long ago.
Earth Hour gave us plenty to think about. I have at least three other blog posts floating around in my head, but this seemed the simplest to get down in type right now. If this is simple, I don't know how I'll ever get to the rest. ;) ...stay tuned...
Saturday night we participated in Earth Hour. We turned off the lights from 8:30-9:30pm and sat around the kitchen table telling stories with grandma & grandpa, who live upstairs. Mango set a recorder on the table, and now we have some fabulous recordings of grandma and grandpa telling stories. Mane was enchanted by the candles and by the quiet, warm atmosphere. It really was beautiful and made us want to have Earth Hour every night.
However, on Sunday morning we spent some time researching the carbon emissions of candles or oil lanterns versus electric light bulbs, and we found that even a single candle may give off more carbon than a 60 watt light bulb. Mango says we need to stick with using candles only occasionally for ambiance. They're not a better environmental alternative. What *is* a better alternative is turning off lights whenever we don't need them, unplugging cell phone chargers when they're not in use, turning off the computer when we're not using it, turning off the receiver amp when we aren't listening to music, and using the city bus and our bicycles more.
Mane spent some time on the Earth Hour Kids website, and then we watched a NOVA movie on global warming and more energy efficient choices. We heard all about electric cars, solar panels, wind farms, and reforestation. The options are all so expensive right now, and, with kids, we have to focus on the things that are within our reach. So, we're helping Mane remember things like turning off lights and reminding her that if we all work together, we can make a difference, which was a key message of Earth Hour.
We also spent some time reading about how a group called Engineers Without Borders is working on helping to replace oil lanterns in developing countries with solar powered LED lanterns. It's a good example of how technology can be used to reverse some of the negative effects that earlier technology created...and how environmental concerns interplay with world economics and poverty. Because people in developing countries are less likely to have electricity, they're more likely to use kerosene lanterns, and this contributes to health problems from soot and carbon monoxide, as well as the more global problem of greenhouse gases and global warming. The article we read even pointed out how reading is difficult with less light, making it harder for children to get an education, and, if they do read by the light of the kerosene lantern, they're more likely to get sick from the lantern emissions. It's strange how something as simple as lighting can have such a huge effect.
What struck me most about Earth Hour, though, was the number of places where lights seem to serve very little purpose, yet it was such a huge deal to turn them off Saturday night. Of special note was the Coca Cola billboard in New York. Do we really need to light up billboards at night? Isn't it enough to see them in the daylight? Also, several bridges, including the Golden Gate Bridge, turned off their "decorative" lights, leaving only the necessary lights to help people drive safely. What are we doing leaving all those lights on all the time anyway? The lights were turned off on the pyramids in Egypt, the Colosseum in Rome, and the Eiffel Tower. I can understand lights for security reasons, but the sheer volume of lights is questionable. It left me wondering how much we could "save" in terms of CO2 emissions if we all gave some hard and careful thoughts to which lights are really necessary.
We seem to honor things by lighting them all day and all night (the pyramids, for example, and the statue of the Virgin Mary in Rio de Janeiro), which raises a myriad of other questions for me. Why? Why do we do that? Do we think the pyramids know they're being honored with lights all night long? Why is it so disrespectful for them to sit in darkness? Perhaps they want to rest at night, too. I don't have such a hard time thinking about turning the lights off on the pyramids, but I cringe to think about turning them off on the Vietnam Memorial Wall in Washington D.C. (I have no idea if the lights were turned off on monuments in D.C., by the way). Why is that? Why do a feel that it's disrespectful to turn out the lights on the list of names? It's not really. It doesn't dishonor the dead to let the names rest a while, especially when nobody is there and the people have left this life long ago.
Earth Hour gave us plenty to think about. I have at least three other blog posts floating around in my head, but this seemed the simplest to get down in type right now. If this is simple, I don't know how I'll ever get to the rest. ;) ...stay tuned...
Monday, March 23, 2009
Thoughts on Parenting
To understand how I think about parenting you have to know that I believe parents need to be on the same team as their children. Maybe coaching, sometimes playing, always on the same side. I've never stepped in line with the advice that says your children don't need to like you, they just need to do what you say or that a parent's job is not to be their child's friend. See, if your children are going to do what you say and live by those things, internalize your advice and make it their own, they pretty much need to like you. ...not that our children don't get angry with us or think we're being unfair sometimes, but that we need to nurture genuine relationship, actual fondness and liking between ourselves and our children in order to have a long term impact on them.
Ok, so that's the background. Here's what I keep running into: How to not feel like a failure when the "team" isn't functioning all that well. If we're a team and there isn't some big authoritative gap between us, how do I not internalize my child's failures? How do I not take it personally when they're angry with me.
...or, um, maybe I need to take it personally, but in a different way. Is this complicated or what? I need to take it personally, in that I need to care how my child is feeling and make an effort to repair the relationship, just as I would with anyone else. But I don't need view myself (or them, either) as a failure when the "team" isn't playing very well.
Maybe I hit on it right there. Having crabby days, complete with that disrespectful voice, foot stomping and eye rolling doesn't make anyone a failure...not me, and not my child. Yeah, it's my job to teach, to help my children learn what's ok and what's not in the way we treat other people and the way we live our lives. But failing to do it right or do it well doesn't make us failures. It makes us humans who are learning and growing every day.
I don't want to parent out of fear...fear that my children won't turn out well if I don't do everything right, fear that I'm a failure if my kids aren't conducting themselves all that well fear of what other people are going to think of me or my children. I think it's when I parent out of those fears, actually, that I make the most mistakes. I react in a way that's intended to get whatever behavior to stop but not in a way that actually teaches anything. When I'm afraid of what other people are going to think, I get controlling, threatening, angry. When I stop and think about what I'm teaching rather than getting all wrapped up in appearances and fears, I gain some patience, humor, and grace.
I want to play on the same team with my kids. Together we can learn what we need to know to get through this life.
Ok, so that's the background. Here's what I keep running into: How to not feel like a failure when the "team" isn't functioning all that well. If we're a team and there isn't some big authoritative gap between us, how do I not internalize my child's failures? How do I not take it personally when they're angry with me.
...or, um, maybe I need to take it personally, but in a different way. Is this complicated or what? I need to take it personally, in that I need to care how my child is feeling and make an effort to repair the relationship, just as I would with anyone else. But I don't need view myself (or them, either) as a failure when the "team" isn't playing very well.
Maybe I hit on it right there. Having crabby days, complete with that disrespectful voice, foot stomping and eye rolling doesn't make anyone a failure...not me, and not my child. Yeah, it's my job to teach, to help my children learn what's ok and what's not in the way we treat other people and the way we live our lives. But failing to do it right or do it well doesn't make us failures. It makes us humans who are learning and growing every day.
I don't want to parent out of fear...fear that my children won't turn out well if I don't do everything right, fear that I'm a failure if my kids aren't conducting themselves all that well fear of what other people are going to think of me or my children. I think it's when I parent out of those fears, actually, that I make the most mistakes. I react in a way that's intended to get whatever behavior to stop but not in a way that actually teaches anything. When I'm afraid of what other people are going to think, I get controlling, threatening, angry. When I stop and think about what I'm teaching rather than getting all wrapped up in appearances and fears, I gain some patience, humor, and grace.
I want to play on the same team with my kids. Together we can learn what we need to know to get through this life.
Friday, March 20, 2009
to clarify
I just wanted to clarify that the previous post was not intended as advice for anyone considering having another baby. This is the place I'm in. It's where my head is at right now and how I'm thinking about babies for me and my family. My thoughts were prompted, in part, by Heather of the EO, who is talking about having another baby (see here ), and by the fact that my good friend at stories i tell just had a beautiful, sweet baby girl. But my post is not a reflection on either of them, either. It's just where my brain and my heart went with everything.
Thanks for reading my clarification. You may noW return to your regularly scheduled programming.
Thanks for reading my clarification. You may noW return to your regularly scheduled programming.
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