Joy Dare - Feb 20

February Joy Dare Prompts (think of 3 gifts for each day - use prompts if you want!):
20. A Gift at Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner

My list (picking up from the last list):
551. Mango's breakfasts every weekend
552. Lunch with Bible Study peeps
553. Mango always says, "This is EXACTLY what I wanted!" And he means it...every.single.time.

Lashon Hara

At Bible Study last Wednesday, we talked about the power of naming things, the power of writing down the gifts we have been give. Ann Voskamp mentions how the first job of Adam was to name the animals. We are a people who count and name and label. How powerful it is when the things we name and label and count are gifts, gratitudes, thanks... I was reminded of the Hebrew term "Lashon Hara," or "evil language," as a kind of inverse of speaking gratitude.

Leviticus 19:16 says, "Do not go around as a slanderer among your people, and you shall not stand up against the life of your neighbor: I am the Lord." Here is the scripture from the Torah that is most frequently cited against Lashon Hara, a scripture that brings lashon hara right up against LIFE. Words have the power of life and, conversely, the power of death. Consequently, the Jewish rabbis have written numerous hedge laws to prevent people from accidentally participating in lashon hara, and the Jewish people acknowledge the harm that has been done in the world through lashon hara. For example (from chabad.org):

• The Midrash tells us that the snake slandered G‑d to Eve when convincing her to eat of the Tree of Knowledge.
• Joseph spoke negatively to his father, Jacob, about his brothers, causing them to hate him. This led to their selling him, and ultimately caused the Egyptian exile.

 When Miriam spoke negatively about her brother, Moses, she was rebuked by G‑d and afflicted with the skin disease.

The spies who were sent soon afterwards to Israel did not take a lesson from this story, and they too spoke negatively—about the land of Israel. The result was that the Israelites of that generation all died in the desert. 

Another fabulous article from Judaism 101 tells us these things about lashon hara:

The Talmud tells that the tongue is an instrument so dangerous that it must be kept hidden from view, behind two protective walls (the mouth and teeth) to prevent its misuse. 

The person who listens to gossip is even worse than the person who tells it, because no harm could be done by gossip if no one listened to it. It has been said that lashon ha-ra (disparaging speech) kills three: the person who speaks it, the person who hears it, and the person about whom it is told.

 An article at Aish.com describes the 3 people hurt by lashon hara in this way:

• The person speaking: Although you briefly become the center of attention when you dish out a juicy piece of gossip, in the long run people start mistrusting you. ...
• The person spoken about: The person under discussion is, of course, being killed in everyone's eyes. Whether the information is true or false, it is hard to take back defamatory words already spoken and undo the character assassination already committed. ...
• The person spoken to:  ...the Talmud says that listening to lashon hara is even worse than speaking it; the person had the power to stop it and didn't. Now the transgression is complete.

We see, in these articles, how words have changed the history of the Jewish people...and the world (Adam & Eve, Joseph, Miriam, the spies that went out ahead into the promised land...)  How powerful words can be. And how easy it is to use them. It's so much more difficult to commit other acts, either positive or negative, toward others. It's much harder to DO something. But it's so easy to SPEAK something.

So easy to speak something...and yet so difficult sometimes. Why does it sometimes seem like it's easier to "name" the difficult things, the problems, the hurts, the frustrations, the pain, lashon hara? Why must we train ourselves in order to name the gifts, the positive things, the gratitude, the thanksgiving, eucharisteo?

Yet, we must. We must train ourselves to name our gifts. In naming them, we draw attention to them and to the One who gave them. In naming them, we affect those three people from the quote above: the person speaking, the person spoken about, and the person spoken to. We give life, rather than speaking against it.

Joy Dare - Feb 17-19

February Joy Dare Prompts (think of 3 gifts for each day - use prompts if you want!):
17. 3 Gifts Found in Giving/Serving
18. 3 Gifts on Paper
19. 3 Gifts that were Plan B's

My list (picking up from the last list):
542. Less time to worry about my own stuff
543. In serving/facilitating Bible Study, I review materials ahead of time and do my own research...and get more out of the whole thing than I would otherwise.
544. In Giving our Team Yarn stuff, we find that there are more good people in the world than I often think
545. Mane's cheerful plant drawing hanging on my fridge
546. The notes Dr. P drew for Mane while were in his office to help us all understand
547. Graph paper pictures Mane is learning right now
548. Adopting a teenager
549. Living downstairs from Mango's parents
550. Moving Mane's bedroom

Joy Dare - Feb 15-16

February Joy Dare Prompts (think of 3 gifts for each day - use prompts if you want!):
15. A Gift in Losing, Finding, Making Something
16. 3 Gifts in Shadows

My list (picking up from the last list):
536. Losing the sense that I am responsible for absolutely everything opens up a lot of freedom in other places.
537. We FOUND so many things under the beds & dressers, rearranging the rooms! What fun!
538. Hats, scarves, shawls...Team Yarn has been a year full of making things. So much joy in meeting people and passing on these gifts.
539. Noticed the shadows of the Olympic skiers in the sun while we were watching the other day...
540. And the shadows of the camera-people, which was fun for Mango
541. The whole house in shadows in the wee morning hours.

Joy Dare on Valentine's Day

February Joy Dare Prompts (think of 3 gifts for each day - use prompts if you want!):
8. A Gift Broken, Fixed, Thrifted
9. 3 Surprise Gifts
10. 3 Times You Heard Laughter Today
11. 3 Gifts in Working
12. 3 Hard Eucharisteos
13. 3 Gifts Behind a Door
14. 3 Ways You Feel the Love of God

My list (picking up from the last list):
515. Oh, the oil lamp Mango gave me for Christmas the first year we exchanged Christmas gifts
516. That pink, screaming stuffed monkey from Wyoming...we fixed it so it wouldn't scream! Good memories from the trip to Utah!
517. A book by Sandage & Shults I found today! Yay!
518. Laughter - listening to TED talks online
519. Seeing a hummer limo on the street today
520. Finding chocolate wine in St. Anthony
521. Finding gluten free mole sauce at the co-op
522. Laughter - at the thrift store
523. Laughter - with Mane in my car
524. I meet so many people with so many kinds of jobs from so many different places at work
525. Sweet & sympathetic co-workers
526. Saw some great parent/marriage dynamics at work last weekend
527. Austin's shaved head
528. Levi playing guitar in the hospital
529. Deanna posting HILARIOUS things on facebook, despite all she's been through this year
530. Mane's poster
531. The wreath they made for me at Reuben Lindh before Mane was born
532. Fuzzy bathrobe
533. In reading the words of honest people
534. In the sunshine...oh, the gifts of sunshine in the hard winters of MN
535. In Shabbat

Chodesh Adar - Accept the Grace of Joy

Today is the 11th of Adar. The eleventh day of the Jewish month of JOY. Adar is considered the month of Joy because it includes Purim (the Fast of Esther) and falls one month before Passover. Both Purim and Passover are deliverance stories, times of joy and celebration. The Talmud says, "When Adar comes, joy is increased."

How fitting that my Bible Study group began a study of Joy last week and I have been following the Joy Dare prompts this year! And how fitting that the month of Joy comes in one of the darkest seasons, right before spring...right when we need it the most. This is the month of anticipation, of joy breaking through, of awaiting our deliverance. From winter. From captivity.

I wrote this for my Bible Study group:

I got to thinking about the plethora of literature that's been generated in recent years about happiness. A website called Happiness Club lists the top 20 books on happiness. Amazon and Goodreads both have lists and lists of books about Happiness. I've read a few of them myself. Most notably, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, where I learned that Happiness is about learning to simplify, organize my closets, and have more fun. Clearly, we live in a culture where we are longing for something. We call it Happiness, but I'm convinced we are really after Joy...because we are after something that can only come from outside ourselves...ultimately, God.

A number of other thoughts have come tumbling through since then. I wonder what it means to have joy or to be joyful when you aren't happy? If we make a distinction between Joy and Happiness, can we assume they are independent of each other? Some people describe Happiness as something that is based on circumstances. We are happy when things are going on our. Joy is independent of circumstances. Something we have from within, despite circumstances. Or, perhaps, something that comes from without, that comes from a reliance on something greater than ourselves.

I like the idea. But what does it look like? How do we have joy when we are mourning? In the midst of sadness? In the midst of struggle? When we are tired, broken, defeated, frustrated, angry...

I'm not claiming to have answers. I just wonder. Romans 12:12 says, "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." And again, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." Seems like a pretty impossible standard. Rejoice always? Pray without ceasing?

I also started thinking about people I know, whom I would consider joyful. ...or not. So, my neighbor, who was previously a drug addict, who has been clean for years now, has a daughter in high school, married to a sweet Hispanic guy who experiences a lot of discrimination, raising her "surprise" baby now, low income, watching previous friends die from overdoses or gang related violence, working to help clean up our part of the city... She has joy. Definitely. I mean. I can't even figure it out. Because I know that sometimes she's sad and she struggles, and she doesn't hide that. But somehow, she's always overflowing in joy.

I don't know what it is. I just know that isn't me. And I also know you cannot fake it. You can try to see the silver lining all the time. Try to see the rose in the midst of the thorns. Try to think of how it's always better than it could be. But, honestly, those things feel forced.  There is something so genuine and real about the truly joyful people I meet. And it seems to me that it's sort of like grace. It's not something you can earn or create. It's something you are given and you must open your hand and receive it. TRYing will get you nowhere. Acceptance is the only path. Accept the grace of joy.

And so Begins February - Joy Dare

February Joy Dare Prompts (think of 3 gifts for each day - use prompts if you want!):
1. 3 Gifts Red
2. 3 Gifts on Paper
3. 3 Gifts Found in Writing
4. 3 Gifts Found When Bent Down
5. A Gift Hammered, Stitched, Woven
6. 3 Gifts Found Outside
7. A Gift at 11:30am, 2:30pm, 6:30pm

My list (picking up from the last list):
494. R.'s red blankie, which is actually a scrap of her mama's tshirt and always makes me smile.
495. Little red cell phone that has a headphone jack so I can use it like a music player!
496. Little red roo case for my tablet
497. Printed photos to hang on my wall
498. That moment of challenge and excitement when you first look at a blank page
499. Those little notes Vespera and I used to pass back and forth in a box in her room
500. Letters from T in a box under my bed from when we were children
501. Letters from Mango, filled with his love for me
502. The space in my own head I find when I write
503. The way a person's face calms when you bend down and get lower than them in order to talk or explain something
504. The room looks bigger when you get down low
505. You capture the warmth of the fire best when you stoop down in front of it
506. My kitchen table, built by my dad
507. The blanket C made for me
508. The coasters woven for me by Mane
509. Animal tracks in the snow
510. Miles of rolling, snow-covered hills in southern MN
511. The sunset when it's cloudy\
512. Often this is when T comes over!
513. Mane has swim practice!
514. Mango will be home!