Advent Calendar - In Picture Books!

Another fun & fabulous Advent idea for those who love books and want to fill the season with stories and snuggly, book-reading memories:

A Picture Book a Day Advent Calendar

Wrap up twenty-five picture books. Open one book each day until Christmas, snuggle up and enjoy the story! (These can be books you already own or even books from the library!)

The following bloggers have compiled lists of the books they have used:

ShelfTalker
Our Home on the Range
A Striped Armchair
Sarah Jane

TOTALLY OFF TOPIC (sort of): While I was searching for book lists, I ran across this Rocking Chair artist: Hal Taylor. I think you should check out his website, too! He makes a rocking chair with arm seats for little people to look over your shoulder while you're reading.

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This is the 4rd post in a series of posts about Advent, Christmas, Jesse Tree & Chanukah traditions. See the other posts here:
Season's Traditions
Jesse Tree

Elf on the Shelf, Random Acts of Kindness, and other Christmas Traditions

Elf on the Shelf, Random Acts of Kindness and other Christmas Traditions

For those of you who are looking for STILL MORE seasonal traditions, I wanted to share some that others have shared with me.  The types of traditions I'm focusing on are those that extend through the Advent season to develop that sense of hopefulness and anticipation.

Elf on the Shelf

The Elf on the Shelf tradition is based on a book that tells the story of an elf that watches over the children in the household and reports back to Santa at the North Pole about whether they are naughty or nice. The elf hangs out at the house all day and reports back to Santa at night. The elf often hides or does some bit of innocent mischief upon return, and the children find the elf each morning. The official website of Elf on a Shelf can be found here: http://www.elfontheshelf.com/

You can find ideas for the types of mischief your elf might do all over blogs and pinterest online. In its simplest form, the elf just hides each night, and the children find the elf in the morning. More elaborate scenarios might involve the elf playing the the children's toys, making messes or bringing simple gifts and treats.

You know how I keep telling you that it's ok to take things slow, to not do everything all at once? But, of course, kids will expect the elf to make an appearance every day. So, I found this website with a list of EXCUSES for what happened if the elf doesn't show: My Pigeon Pair. There you go! You can keep your relaxed, flexible frame of mind for the holidays. You've been provided with excuses. You're welcome. (My Pigeon Pair is also filled with Elf Mischief ideas. So, spend some time there and have a look around.)

I know of families that have changed the whole story, but they like the idea of something that hides or does mischief for the children to find in the morning. So, some families have fairies, some have bears, some have a monster... Maybe there's a neglected stuffed toy in the back of your child's closet somewhere that you could adopt as your seasonal mischief-maker. Name the toy, put it on the mantle, on a window or on a shelf, introduce the idea to your child, and let the merriment begin!

Random Acts of Christmas Kindness (RACK)

Some families choose to count down the days until Christmas with Random Acts of Christmas Kindness. Sometimes they keep these ideas in envelopes - one for each day - or they have them in their Advent calendar.  I found this beautiful blog post about a family choosing to begin this tradition: Gathering and Scattering. And more of a how-to post with printable RACK cards can be found here: TSJ Photography. That post includes back links to how her family got started with RACK and how it ended up for them in 2010. Be sure to click around on all the links.

The Empty Manger OR The Last Straw

This is a tradition in which the family begins with an empty manger at the beginning of the holiday season and a pile of straw (straw can be found at many craft or garden supply stores). Family members secretly do kind things for each other, and each time they do something kind, they place a straw in the manger. The goal is to make a comfortable bed of straw for the baby Jesus...and to prepare and soften our hearts as we celebrate the gift of Messiah.  This tradition is based on a true story called The Last Straw. Tennessee Farmgirl wrote a beautiful blog post about practicing this tradition with her family.

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This is the 3rd post in a series of posts about Advent, Christmas, Jesse Tree & Chanukah traditions. See the other posts here:
Season's Traditions
Jesse Tree

Jesse Tree

"There shall come forth a shoot from the stump of Jesse, and a branch from his roots shall bear fruit." (Isaiah 11:1)

"The Tree of Jesse is a depiction in art of the ancestors of Christ." (wikipedia) It is a type of family tree, a collection symbols representing the people and stories that make up the larger story of redemption, from the perfect creation to the birth of a perfect Messiah. Isaiah 11:1 tells us that the Messiah will come from the family or "stump" of Jesse, and this is why we call it a Jesse Tree. When we make a Jesse Tree for Advent we hang those symbols (ornaments) from a tree (or from...well, something) creating an artistic representation of the family tree, the family story that we all share...for Romans 11:17 says, 

"...you, although a wild olive shoot, were grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing root of the olive tree..."

A Jesse Tree is a simple and tangible way to tell the redemption story. We use the ornament symbols as prompts to review the story each night before we tell a new piece of the story. You will be amazed what your children (and YOU) remember even weeks or months later.

The idea of the Jesse Tree goes far back in history. Again, from wikipedia: 

"The Jesse Tree has been depicted in almost every medium of Christian art. In particular, it is the subject of many stained glass windows and illuminated manuscripts. It is also found in wall paintings, architectural carvings, funerary monuments, floor tiles and embroidery." 

These images date all the way back to around 1000 AD. So, in using a Jesse Tree as part of Advent, you are participating in a tradition that is at least 1,000 years old. You are part of a great line of people, together honoring the story of redemption through Jesus, the Messiah.

Having a Jesse Tree can be a completely stand-alone tradition and does not have to be done along-side Advent candles or Advent calendars. If the tree, the candles and the calendar are TOO MANY things all at once, you can choose just one. If I were to choose just one, I would choose the Jesse Tree. This, for me, has the most meaning. And, with all the on-line guide available, it can be done with very little preparation, entirely from home. As I've said before, this isn't about doing everything perfectly or doing it ALL the first time around. This is about making meaning and creating focus. Be flexible. Know that what you do this year doesn't have to be what you do next year or the year after. You can do this one year at a time.

To get started with your own Jesse Tree, you'll need ornaments to represent the stories and something to hang the ornaments from. This is what ours looks like:

We chose a wreath because we didn't have any space in a room or on a table for a tree. We have an eclectic assortment of ornaments to represent the stories. For some stories we are still looking for a symbol. As a family, we've enjoyed the quest to find just the right ornament. This makes the Jesse Tree meaningful and personal to us. Some people simply use a drawing of a tree on the wall and paper symbols to attach to the tree. Others use a felt tree and felt figures. 

We have used the book The Jesse Tree by Raymond and Georgene Anderson, as well as the book The Jesse Tree by Geraldine McCaughrean and One Wintry Night by Ruth Bell Graham to guide our readings, and we often use children's picture books of the story for each night. 

This shows our Advent candles with a few of our Jesse Tree ornaments surrounding them and the McCaughrean book to the side. We like to lay out the ornaments that we will be hanging soon to have them as part of our table centerpiece throughout the day. Our menorahs are also in the photo, in anticipation of Chanukah.

Season's Traditions

By special request, I'll be blogging for the next several weeks about Advent, Christmas, and Chanukah traditions - both those that we practice here at The Midnight Cafe and those that I think are brilliant but haven't tried yet. This is going to be a little like Advent 101 because I want to offer the possibility of these tradition to people who are totally new to the idea. I strongly believe that traditions help us focus, they help us make meaning, they help us mark time, and they help us draw closer to each other and to our Creator. Traditions are meant to be modified to fit each family. They are meant to be tools in the shaping of our lives. So, I'm offering here some possibilities and a whole lot of information. Take what you need and leave the rest.

So, first things first...Advent is a season of anticipation, a season of hope, a season marked by reflection...and filled with meaning. If you get too wrapped up in doing things to make the season happen, you'll totally miss the meaning. You'll be frazzled and weary before Christmas even arrives. If you're new to Advent traditions, start slow. You don't have to do everything. You can do one thing or dabble in many. But you absolutely do not have to do it all. This is about remembering the gift of the Messiah. It isn't (and never has been) about doing everything right.

Next, I just want to say that Advent isn't only for families that come from liturgical church traditions. Anyone can celebrate Advent. It might not look like Advent at your local Catholic, Lutheran or Methodist church, but if you are participating in a way that draws your focus toward the gift of Jesus as Messiah, you are celebrating Advent. The candles and calendars and stories and ornaments are tools, not the focus.

So...that said, advent begins ONE WEEK from today! Advent always begins 4 Sundays before Christmas.You can remember this because there are 4 candles in an Advent wreath, one for each Sunday until Christmas. Many people have a fifth, larger candle in the middle of the Advent wreath to light on Christmas.

The season of Advent is not always the same length as an Advent calendar, which always begins on December 1st and counts down the days until Christmas. So, this year, if you're using an Advent calendar, you'll start on Saturday, December 1st. You'll light your first Advent candle, however, on Sunday, December 2nd.

Now, here's the fun part! We designed our own very non-traditional Advent wreath some years ago. I'm not a fan of green wreaths, and I'm perpetually worried about the fire hazard. So, we found a circular mosaic-ed tray/plate, and we place 4 votive candles in a circle on the plate around the center "Messiah" candle....like this:

We've had the same center candle since Mane was around 2 years old because it only gets lit for a few days of every year. You can do most anything to set up your Advent candles. See a number of non-traditional ideas at homesteadrevival.blogspot.com. (Or go look on Pinterest!)

Traditionally, Advent candles are purple and pink (3 purple, 1 pink). Our family has used other colors over the years. We do typically use 3 of one color and 1 of another, but that isn't necessary either. Remember, these are traditions for your family, to help you focus this season, to bring honor to your King. This is what the candles are intended to represent:

1st Sunday: Purple: Hope
2nd Sunday: Purple: Peace
3rd Sunday: Pink: Joy
4th Sunday: Purple: Love

Your family might choose a different color for each idea. Or you might choose to have all white candles. Some families choose white candles because they are unscented and less likely to cause allergic reactions. Do what works for you.

The first year that we celebrated Advent, we made a matchbox Advent calendar. This was such a fun craft, and I'd definitely recommend it! See instructions at marthastewart.com. Here's a photo of the one we made:

As you can see, it needed some repair of several years of use! Since that first year, we purchased a magnetic Advent calendar just like this one:

This calendar is very sturdy and can be used year after year. We still haven't parted with our matchbox calendar, though, and I suspect we will be using both this year.

Of course, a variety of Advent calendars are available for purchase. Michaels has a paint-able wooden Christmas tree Advent calendar this year with 24 drawers. Paper, one-time-use calendars can be found at almost any department store, typically with chocolate behind each numbered door. Marthastewart.com has a number of other handmade ideas.

The advantage of a homemade calendar is that you don't have to fill it with candy. We've filled our matchboxes with pennies, beads, charms, erasers, jelly bracelets, hair binders, and all manner of other tiny things. Remember, these things are not meant to cost you a lot. They are meant to build anticipation...and possibly reward little people for sitting through a quick candle-lighting, prayer and story.

Here's what a typical night of Advent looks like for us...

- Light the candle(s) and discuss the meaning of each candle that has been lit. This is typically very brief. I'll get into what some of these discussions look like in later posts.

- Read scripture/story/book. For us, the reading will correspond with our Jesse Tree ornament for the night. The Jesse Tree is probably the most significant part of our Advent tradition, and it's going to get its own post here in my blog. The short version is that the Jesse Tree tradition involves telling the major stories of the Bible from creation to the birth of Jesus over the days of Advent. It is a condensed retelling of the redemption story. For each story, we hang a symbolic ornament on our Jesse Tree.

Others will choose a different set of readings to guide them through Advent. Catholic.org lists the traditional Advent readings for each night.

- Say a prayer.

- Hang the Jesse Tree ornament.

- Open the door of the Advent calendar.

- Blow out the candles.

This series of traditions developed over a period of YEARS. We did not start doing everything all at once. I can't stress enough how important it is to relax and do what works for your family. You want this to be peaceful. You want it to bring your family life and joy. You do not want a bunch of stress and unfulfilled expectations. Let things happen how they happen. Breathe in the moment.

Be blessed.

A Disclaimer

One month ago, on October 14th, I went to see my mom in the hospital, expecting that she would "get better" for another month or more before the end came. That Saturday, she died.

Today I am listening to Christmas music...the orchestral kind, not the holly, jolly kind. Last weekend I put up strings of Christmas lights in my house. The light is soft and warm. People keep telling me how hard the holidays will be. I feel like I need to explain that I'm not forgetting her with the lights and the music. I am just so thirsty for beautiful things. It's so hard. The beautiful things carry me through. They feel poignant and full of meaning...somehow more beautiful in the middle of all the heaviness. Many moments throughout the day, I take in a ragged breath and realize I am on the verge of sobbing, that I cannot breathe for a moment, that this is so painful I must double over, sit down, push on my eyes to stop the onslaught of tears. I cannot cry every waking moment. Nor can I forget. So, I live in this airless place of grief. Trying to live. Being oh so grateful for the people in my life and the fact that we have one more moment together. And then another. And another. There are so many beautiful things. And there is so much sadness.

I feel like I need a disclaimer. Yes, I'm grieving. My heart is broken. I cannot breathe. I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. Yes, you see holiday lights in my house, and there will be beautiful music. Yes, I will surround myself with the beautiful comfort of Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas... Yes, I often feel two things (or more) at once, and I cannot explain it. I know it's confusing. I'm just trying to breathe.

In the words of Ellen Bass:

The Thing Is

to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you've held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again. 

My Mom

My mom passed away on October 20th, 2012, after fighting a vicious 11 month battle with Merkel Cell Carcinoma.  Here is the tribute I wrote for her memorial service...

It is possible that many of you have heard this poem, but I want to share it with you anyway. I know my mom read it and believed it...

What Cancer Cannot Do

Cancer is so limited...

It cannot cripple love.

It cannot shatter hope.

It cannot corrode faith.

It cannot eat away peace.

It cannot destroy confidence.

It cannot kill friendship.

It cannot shut out memories.

It cannot silence courage.

It cannot reduce eternal life.

It cannot quench the spirit.

You see, my mom fought cancer for 11 months. She fought it with grace and with courage and hope and faith. And, though we sit here today, I still think she won. Cancer did not take her love for us or our love for her. It did not take our memories or her friendships or courage or spirit. In fact, it did not even take her peace. In the end, my mom knew where she was going, and she wasn't worried about it. After all, cancer cannot reduce eternal life, either. Because it's eternal. This life here is a little drop in the bucket of Eternal. But what she taught me here matters a whole lot to eternity. This little drop in the bucket has changed many people for all eternity.

My mom taught me what it is to love because she loved me. How can I even begin to describe her? She is the one I still want when I'm sick. She's the one I want to call with all my news. She is the one, who, despite her smallness, was always ready to protect me. When she knew she was passing from this world she wasn't worried about herself, she was worried about me and my dad and her grandchildren...and the many others who have come to rely on her...for support, for encouragement, for a listening ear, for friendship, and for practical help. My mom knew how to get things done - to make lists, plan, and organize. She didn't spend a lot of time talking about how to do something. She just made it happen. My mom also knew how to make peace with people without being a pushover. She had a strength and confidence that was all her own, but she didn't use it to trample other people or even to outshine them. She used it to see past differences and make things happen.

My mom taught me courage, as I saw her suffer losses and tackle tough challenges (like caring for foster children and moving across the continent and learning Spanish). I am so proud of her for doing the hard things. Because I know they were hard for her, and she did them anyway.

My mom also taught me to value people and relationships over material things. A person doesn't need a big house or a lot of stuff to be happy and content. If you ever visited any of the small houses my parents lived in over the last 15 years or so - from the trailer in Mexicali to their little cottage in Isanti - you know what I mean. My mom knew that wherever the people you love are, that is where home is. My parents made a great team, making a home beautiful and functional, without being big or cluttered. Their little home in Isanti is full of creative small-house solutions. (Did you know that you can store coffee cups in a cake pan in the oven, making use of all that empty space in the oven AND keeping the cups warm?) In spite of the small space, my mom stashed away games and craft projects - things that connect people and build relationships. We have spent many Christmases, my family of 5 all piled into my parent's house, laughing, talking, and playing games. My mom and Aurora worked on notebooks full of magazine cut-out collages, and later she taught Aurora to make crafty clipboards. The time mattered more than the things. 

One day my mom sent Aurora home with her shoes because she was decluttering...and I thought of how she used to let me dig through her closet when I still lived at home and I couldn't figure out what to wear. How frustrating that must have been for her some Junior High mornings. :) And I used to wear her shoes, too. I finally grew out of her shoes...and then one day Aurora grew out of her shoes, too!

She always had such tiny feet.

She was my  little Mama.

My little Mama with a big, big smile and a spirit that could not be quenched.

Her love was not crippled.

Her hope was not shattered.

Her faith was not even a little bit corroded.

Her courage was not silenced...

even to the end of her days.  

More Gratitudes...Including some more pinterest love...

More fun ideas from pinterest, for which I am totally, awesomely grateful:

182. Threading a string through the tails of balloons to hang them for a party:

183. Hanging photos from a light string to decorate for the same party:

184. Pumpkin Pie Smoothie for breakfast.

185. Lego Sukkah for Sukkot:

And the non-pinterest gratitudes:
186. The high school student, who volunteered in the food shelf with us at Planet Homeschool last week and scooped Mane up on the way to ballroom dance class.
187. Friends who might be joining us as homeschoolers over the next few months.
188. Beautiful fall colors.
189. Having a 10yr old who exclaims over the beautiful fall colors.
190. The pumpkin puree brought to me by a friend, which made the Pumpkin Pie Smoothie for breakfast possible this morning.
191. The same friend brought me a lamp for my living room!
192. Inexpensive guitar stands we found this weekend.
193. Mane learned to take notes while watching a science movie! I'm so proud!
194. Homeschooling is getting easier and way less stressful.
195. I found my mole recipe on Janis' facebook, and I had totally forgotten the way I was making it last winter!
196. The birds singing out the window.
197. That awesome piece of fabric that's been sitting in my closet finally found a home - as Mane's window curtain!
198. Finding solutions right here in my own house.
199. My in-law's extra car, which makes it possible for me to get somewhere while Mango is at work.