Teshuvah

Rosh Hashanah. A new year. Also sometimes called the Feast of Trumpets or Yom Teruah. A time to make a joyful noise. This is the time when the Rabbis believe that the world was created. It is a celebration of God as King and Creator. We are reminded that God brought the world into being and continues to uphold the world, a continual outpouring of life and creativity.

These days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are days of Teshuvah, repentance. A time to reflect on our mistakes and make the conscious choice to turn toward the only one who can offer unconditional grace and forgiveness, toward the King and Creator, toward the only one who can heal our brokenness.


These words from John Parsons at Hebrew4Christians spoke to me today,

"God is both infinitely loving and infinitely just, and both of these "attributes" are inseparably a part of who he is. God is One. Nonetheless, the cross of Yeshua proves that "love is stronger than death, passion fiercer than the grave; its flashes are flashes of fire, a raging flame, the very flame of the Lord" (Song. 8:6). It is at the cross that "love and truth have met, righteousness and peace have kissed" (Psalm 85:10). This implies that we must drop our defenses – even those supposed objections and pretenses voiced by our shame – and "accept that we are accepted." It is God's great love for you that leads you to repent and to turn to him. Allow yourself to be embraced by his "everlasting arms."

It truly is a time of celebration. We, so often, wallow in our mistakes, grovel in our repentance. We view repentance as a time to hate ourselves. I think of self-flagellation and penance...something church history has taught us. This isn't it at all, though. Repentance is confession and turning away. It is starting fresh. It is acknowledging that we are loved enough to be forgiven.

I read in the book To Forgive is Human that people don't admit mistakes or ask forgiveness unless there is some possibility that they will be forgiven. This is the basis upon which relationships are built. You cannot be honest and truthful in your relationship, admitting mistakes & moving on to be a better person unless you can reasonably expect some grace.

The King and Creator offers us this kind of acceptance, love and grace. Repentance is impossible without this grand acceptance.  And self-hatred isn't necessary. In fact, it's contradictory. Possibly, it's even a defense mechanism. If we hate ourselves, we don't actually have to believe that we can change, be different, be loved, be forgiven. If we drop the defense of self-hatred, we can repent, turn, start fresh, walk new...right into a sweet new year. This is joyous, indeed!

Shanah Tovah!

Rosh Hashanah

129. I am thankful for apples! We picked organic apples with some friends on Friday and then spent the afternoon canning 42 pints of applesauce!

Today, Mane and I spent the day preparing our Rosh Hashanah table and discussing the meaning of Rosh Hashanah. Rosh Hashanah officially began last night and continues until sundown tomorrow (since the Jewish calendar begins the day at sundown). It is the Jewish New Year. It is celebrated with harvest fruits, firstfruits. The apples are dipped in honey and eaten with a prayer asking for a sweet and happy year to come.

The Washington Post describes Rosh Hashanah this way:

Rosh Hashanah promises everyone a second chance, even if it’s their hundredth one. The New Year also carries the promise of a new you. We are invited to see both ourselves and each other in light of that promise. In fact, Rosh Hashanah teaches that with a bit of work, there is no past that cannot be overcome, and no person who does not deserve the opportunity to do so.

For the Love of Pinterest

128. I am grateful for Pinterest...so grateful, in fact, that I'll devote an entire post to things I've tried from pinterest in the last week!

Egg muffins: Baked on Sunday, stored in the fridge for breakfasts all week:

See recipe here: Kalyn's Kitchen. These are yummy and SO easy to make! We've done them with sauted onions, broccoli & cheese, green chilis & cheese, and sausage & cheese!

Oatmeal muffins: Also baked on Sunday for breakfasts all week:

See recipe here: Sugar-Free Mom. I made them as per the recipe the first time. This week I substituted the banana & applesauce with a can of pumpkin & chopped apples and added cinnamon, cloves & ginger for autumn muffins!

Mason Jar Straw Lids: Instructions at Doodle Craft. I used a half inch drill bit and a rubber grommet that had an inside measurement of 3/8". This fit my reusable stainless steel straws perfectly!

 

Prettier with Jelly Jar Lids

 

And, did you know you can use a canning jar (with a regular size mouth - not the wide mouth kind) on your blender base to make smoothies!! Then you don't have to dirty the blender jar, and you can drink straight from the canning jar!!

 I made the oatmeal & chia seed make-ahead smoothie recipe from The Yummy Life. We'll see how it tastes tomorrow:

I also made the Overnight Refrigerator Oatmeal from The Yummy Life. But I didn't take a picture (can you believe it?)!!

...all thanks to Pinterest!

I am still grateful...

“The world is indeed full of peril and in it there are many dark places.
But still there is much that is fair. And though in all lands, love is now
mingled with grief, it still grows, perhaps, the greater.” 

~ J.R.R. Tolkien from The Lord of the Rings 

Though the world is full of peril, I will continue to count the gifts that are, indeed, more beautiful in such dark places...

101. Mane & Mango playing guitar together every night for the past week.

102. More than 100 hits on my mom's CaringBridge site.

103. Finding peace in cooking good food for my family.

104. The beets my good friend saved for me from her CSA.

105. Rain.

106. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy. ...these are such centering books for me, and I gravitate toward them when I'm struggling. Tolkien was brilliant!

107. People who love me both at work and at home.

108. Mango drinking cold press coffee by my side.

109. Mane doing her own laundry. :)

110. Mane enjoying TWO fantastic overnights with friends this past month!

111. Fiesta at my parent's place!

112. My parent's outdoor kitchen...so fun!

113. Mane & I working as a team to grocery shop and run errands this morning.

114. Blankets that people made for Mane when she was a baby.

115. Sunroom.

116. New tires on my bike!

117. A beautiful bike path for my work commute.

118. A growing up kind of summer.

119. Email from Vespera.

120. Text messages from Niteo.

121. My neighbor, who spent the day with Mane on Monday while I worked.

122. My Bible Study ladies, who are covering for me while my life goes crazy.

123. That beautiful camping trip in July!

124. Camp crafts.

125. Yarn. Loads of yarn for craft projects and for play.

126. Our hippy looking campsite once we'd decorated with all our camp crafts!

127. That the camping trip was so fabulous I could write a whole gratitude post about that trip alone...but, perhaps, some photos will suffice:

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This post was inspired by Ann Voskamp at:

Magnolia

 
I fell in love with magnolias when I first saw them in a specialty shop while looking at graduation invitations with Vespera several years ago. There's something so soft and clean and also a little exotic about them. They aren't loud. They're poised and quiet, not throwing themselves at you in a burst of color...just peaceful, composed, and waiting for you to notice.

Then I forgot about magnolias (short attention span?)...until I found myself declaring one day that magnolias are my favorite. It was a silly declaration. And I couldn't explain it once the words left my mouth. I couldn't even really identify magnolias, but I had this dim recollection of simple white blossoms against shiny green leaves and this faint sense of peacefulness that had descended on me when I first saw them. The love of magnolias had been hanging out in my subconscious just waiting for a chance to arrive on the scene.

I was reminded again of magnolias on a walk in the woods over spring break when I was staying with my mom during her chemo treatment. These aren't magnolias, but they evoked that same feeling when I saw them. They were reminiscent...like when an old song brings you back to a time and feeling you had totally forgotten, or a familiar scent calls up the memory of something long gone.

I am told that magnolias are symbolic of a love of nature, of sweetness, of nobility, and of perseverance. And I can't get my mind off them tonight.

My mom's cancer is back. In a big way. I don't even know what that means right now. The doctors appointments are still looming on the horizon, not yet a reality. And we have this weekend, while all the offices are closed, before we all hit the ground running, taking in more information than we can bear, before talking to more doctors than we ever cared to meet. Right now we're in the calm before the storm. Or the quiet after a big shock. 

And magnolias are on my mind. Nature. Sweetness. Nobility. Perseverance. Isn't that an interesting combination? I want that to be me...earthy, gracious, composed and tough. Beautiful and gritty. Susan with her bow and arrow in Narnia. Eowyn with her sword in the Lord of the Rings. Sweetness and perseverance in the face of all that life brings.

So, I found that there are magnolias that live here in the windchilled land of Minnesota. Sweetness and perseverance, indeed. And I'm fascinated that some will even grow near Lake Superior and Canada. The type that grows the best here is called the Stellata...the Royal Star. Brings me back to my images of Narnia and Middle Earth, of royal banners, of the sweetness in life being redeemed through adversity, of beauty and perseverance walking hand in hand.

I don't know what any of this means. I don't know what kind of journey or fight this will be...for my mom, for my dad, for me... I'm not interested in adversity or fighting or living life on the edge right now. I just know that the magnolias in my mind's eye give me peace. And, perhaps, that's the presence of the Unseen with me tonight...throwing over me a banner of magnolias...soft and sweet, noble and strong.

If Life is a Highway

Go see the Highway blog. It's been quiet there for a year and a half. I wrote there because that's the sort of thing I needed to say.

Poignant Gifts

Ninety-Five. Finding other bloggers, who care about the things in my mind today. Remember my friend, Gabe, who died last summer in a car crash? The woman, who was driving drunk and hit his car, was sentenced last Friday. I found a blogger, who was talking about it today. God Walked Into This Bar. It wasn't what I expected, but it made me grateful that someone noticed, that those of us who knew him are not the only ones paying attention.

Ninety-Six. The gathering of old high school friends that we had on Saturday. What an amazing thing to see the children of the people I knew and loved in high school playing together. What a sadness that one of us was missing and never gets to experience that joy. We were grateful to be together, honoring his memory and making some new memories.

Ninety-Seven. A husband who listens to me talk well into the middle of the night, even when he never, ever gets enough sleep.

Ninety-Eight. A party where every gift was handmade.

Ninety-Nine. Mane's childish arms around me.

One Hundred. That I made it to ONE HUNDRED, and I still have so many more gifts dropping into my life every single day.

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This post was inspired by Ann Voskamp at: